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Kona Coast Hash House Harriers
Run No. 150

Sat, September 24- Check-In at 2:00 - Hares off at 2:15
Hounds off at 2:30

2.1 Miles North of the Kona Airport on the Mauka Side of the highway

Drive 2.1 miles north of Kona Airport. Look for hash cars parked on the lava. Best to drive off the road and don't park on the shoulder! Park. Hash.
Tree Fucker & Half a Bubble Off
 $8 American

Additional Info:
A to A trail - Please Note Earlier Start Time!!!

Further questions or info please post in the Facebook group Kona Coast Hash House Harriers (reply to this email with your Facebook name for an invite), or contact Flying Toe Jamb or email Quickie or call (808) 989-1933.

Please remember to be courteous, respectful and cooperative when encountering residents,  citizens or Police of Kona.  We do not want to attract attention to the Hash or bring any ill feelings toward us.

DO NOT drive after drinking.  Arrange for a ride, or a designated driver or TAKE A TAXI.

HASHERDABERY:   Cash or checks accepted.  Mailing costs $4 a shirt. Dry tech/Patagonia/Hanes T’s or Tanks for $22 in Crimson red, Neptune Blue, Black, Graphite Gray, White, Safety Green for Men and Crimson red, Neptune blue, Black, Pink, and White for Women ..  Yellow cotton Men & Women Tanks/T’s for $15, Gold Men Shooter’s shirts for $15.   Hash drinking vessels for $5 and Patches for $3. 

Dates of future runsIn an attempt to plan ahead so that people (especially out of towners) can plan to attend our runs, the KCH3 runs will be on the last or second to last Sat. of the month Hilo Gets Me Wet Hash Run is going to be on the first or second Sat of the month).  I will attempt to get the hares to commit early to a date and location and theme so that an 'early warning email' can go out 2-3 weeks before the run.  Date changes cannot be made after the early warning notification has gone out.  If the current hares cannot keep that date for any reason, alternate hares will be chosen and the current hares will be assigned a different month to hare.

Be A Hare!!

Hareing is fun.  It's work too, for sure.  But also fun and gratifying if you have a good co-hare or two.  And it truly does complete your experience of the Hash Run.  Rabid Gazelle loves to be a 'trainer hare' and help new hares lay their first trail.  He helped my wife All Over M-m-m-my Face do our first one.  He, EZ Lipps and Saintly Sudds, -or Scarf 'n Barf and One Eyed boner, or Gazelle from Hell and She Would, would be great Harriers to ask, among others.  They can also help you arrange for your beer checks, obtain flour and chalk, as well as jello shot materials, etc. etc.  So, RUN, don't walk to Rabid Gazelle, Quite Nice, Quickie, or any of the veteran hares and sign up to hare an upcoming run.  Runs should be at least 2.5 miles but no more than 6.5 miles.



KCH3 Essential songs:


HEAD?!  Who said head?  I'll take some of that!

And we did, and it was good, and there was much rejoicing.
And then we fucked! We fucked for hours! In trees and bushes and flowers.
Scaring little children and small woodland creatures. We fucked like Vikings! With horns on our head!
HEAD?! Who said head? I'll take some of that.
We don't want women with good taste, we want women that taste good.

Meet the Hashers (Melody -  the Flintstones) 
Hashers, meet the hasher
They’re the biggest drunks in history
From the Coast of Kona
They’re the leaders in debauchery
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years
Watch them, as they down a lot of beers

Drink it Down-down, down-down down-down
Down down down down down down down down
Down down down down down
Down down down down down

They Ought to be Publicly Pissed On
They ought to be publicly pissed upon,
They ought to be publicly shot, BANG BANG
They ought to be tied to a urinal,
And left there to fester and rot,
Drink it down, down, down...

Why Were they Born So Beautiful? (Done as a tribute to hasher, usually after a down down song, but sometimes as the down down song)

Why were they born so beautiful,
Why were they born at all.
They are no f*cking use to anyone,
They're no f*cking use at all.
They might be a joy to their mother,
But They're a pain in the asshole to me!
(Sometimes mooning the recipient)

Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin' for  two carry me home...
Swing low, sweet char-i-o-ot,
Cumin' for two carry me home.
I looked over Jordan,
And what did I see-ee,
Cumin' for two carry me home...
A band of An-gels,
Cumin' after me-ee,
Cumin' four two carry me home...

SHITTY TRAIL - (Mickey Mouse Club Theme Song)

S-H-I... T-T-Y... T - R - A - I - L...
Shitty trail, IT SUCKED!
Shitty trail, TOTALLY FUCKED!
I'd rather drink than run your shitty trail.
I'd rather sit here and drink my beer
than run your Shitty Trail.
S-H-I... T-T-Y... T - R - A - I - L...

 Check out our 10th Analversary slideshow here!

           More details at Click Me!

10th Analversary Hash Trash!

Kona Coast H3 celebrated 10 years of trails, beer, and debauchery in a big way.  Mismanagement started planning this way in advance and succeeded in somehow attracting a wide range of visitors from Oahu, Southern California, the Midwest, East Coast, and even Scotland!!  There were varying packages available, from Primo (entire weekend of hashing, great t-shirt, bag, and various other trinkets), Cheap F*ck (bag, sh*tty t-shirt, weekend of hashing), or pay as you go.  Turned out the Sh*tty white t-shirts with misprinted logo's were a hit and instant collector's item!

The first agenda item was an outrigger canoe paddle from Keauhou Bay on Friday morning.  We had a large group show up for this and pre-Ana, had perfect conditions for a nice paddle, snorkeling, and cliff diving at the End of the World (unfortunately, the Sat. paddle had to be canceled due to the big blow job that was Hurricane Ana).  The debauchery part of the weekend started off with a pub crawl Friday evening with everyone gathering at My Bar, prelubing, registering and picking up their goodie bags.  There was a crowd of about 55 hashers, and Quickie laid a trail to various nefarious establishments.  First off was Dolphin Spit, then  Big Daddy's with enough time for a beer (or two if you were quick), then on down to a new place for us, Paradise Brewing Co, formerly Kona Steak House (which is not a brewery but does sell a wide range of microbrewery bottle selections at varying prices).  The crowd hung there for a while, enjoying the view, the band, and various table games.  A free-to-the-pack beer stop was right around the corner at Tattoo Technique South near Scandinavian Shave Ice, then on down Alii to Humpy's where it was apparent everyone was getting in fine form, and others maybe past their prime!!  Final stop was Ocean's and judging from some very incriminating photo evidence from Whack-a-Mole things got pretty fast and loose (or slow and sleepy for some)!

Saturday was exciting as everyone kept their eye on Ms. Ana's temperament.  Luckily KCH3 only had to deal with passing bands of rain, which let up right on time when the hares, Full Metal, Wjhack-a-Mole, and Dicks Not Cumming were off at 3:15pm.  Theme was Birthday Suit since this was KCH3's 10th birthday.  The pack started from start at the BMW dealer on thru the old industrial with a quick beer stop at My Bar for old times sake.  Trail then went across Queen K highway through lava shiggy up to Macy's with a beer stop in back, then up through more lava shiggy to Henry St and another beer check at old Border's.  Then a nice trail through a tunnel, with an angry naked homeless guy pissed that his personal garbage dump was being trampled, yelling encouragement at the pack.  Trail made it's way to Sam's Hideaway for a beer, then towards Old A along the ocean.  Circle was makai of the hockey rink and the pack was treated to an acting GM by KCH3 co-founder Babble-On and Uncle Buck Naked leading circle, and a guest RA stint by Microscrewery of Long Beach H3 and Double Dipped Tip of Aloha H3 who also handed out Aloha H3 shirts to all the attendees of the Inaugural Kona Coast Hash.  We had an impromptu naming of Just Trevor, who showed up as a flasher, with a trench coat and a very realistic, but very large, appendage underneath said trench coat.  A great name quickly came up, Cock-toberfest; even though it was only his 4th hash, it was too great an opportunity to pass up!  Circle closed up and everyone that signed up for the full Sat. package of hash and on-after for only $15, headed to the Elk's Club for four hours of music courtesy of the Pink Toboggan band, 18" hotdogs with all the fixings, and birthday cake, and of course gratis selections of Firerock and Longboard tap beers.

Sunday started bright and early for the intrepid with a hangover hash, first part hare by Full Metal from Keauhou Shopping Center to Kahaluu Beach with bloody mary stops along the way.  Main Hangover Hash started mauka of Kahaluu with Scarf and Barf haring an A to B ending at a primo gated community's pool house.  That trail started predictably along Alii, but then went uphill on La Aloa almost to the highway.  It then wound through some nice shiggy to pop out near Lyman's, back in the woods, then out again along the ocean to on-in.  The pack was ready to cool off in the pool after that trail!  A delicious brunch was set up with a ton of yummy egg casserole thanks to Scarf and Barf and One Eyed Boner, fruit salad, bagels, leftovers from Saturday and of course beer.  Circle was held in the pool for a KCH3 first.  If you missed this weekend, too bad!  But maybe we'll repeat it for another milestone birthday down the road.  Till then catch you at the next hash!

Hashing Goals:

  • To promote physical fitness among its members.
  • To get rid of weekend hangovers.
  • To acquire a good thirst and satisfy it in beer.
  • To persuade the older members they are not as old as they feel.
For local hotels that provide both standard and Kama'aina rates check out hasher-friendly Uncle Billy's Kona Bay Hotel (808/329-1393), the Kona Seaside Hotel (808/329-2455), or King Kamehameha's Kona Beach Hotel (808/329-2911).
While staying on Oahu you can enjoy Hashing at its finest every Saturday with the Aloha Hash House Harriers (check out "upcumming events") and every Tuesday evening with the Honolulu Hawaii Hash House Harriers. For details on Oahu Hashing call (808) 948-HASH.
For more neighbor island Hashing check out the Maui Hash House Harriers.
To read about Hashing in the Pacific and other Asian locales check out the Asia Pacific Harrier.

We would like to extend a special thank you to the Kona Brewing Company for the patronage of their delicious beer for our mass consumption. Mahalo! Mahalo!

The very first Kona Coast Hash House Harriers run.  Thanks to Quickie and Babble-On, the Aloha Wankers and everyone who made this run happen!!!!

 The very first KCH3 run!!  Thanks to Quickie, Babble-On, the Aloha wankers and everyone who made this hash!!!!  Thanks to See More Buns for the picture!

The second KCH3 run!  Thanks for coming back everyone!  *waves to Quickie*
The Second KCH3 run!  Thanks for coming back everyone!!  *waves to Quickie*

PM © 2015 - Kona Coast Hash House Harriers

What is Hashing?


Receding Hareline

Hasher Hymnal

Hash Stash